the condom got lost in my hair
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Randomize
