I want to have your abortion
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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