He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
