Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
