i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
