Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
