So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
People in love make me want to vomit
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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