I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
