We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
