ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
