Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
