I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
