I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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