Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
soo... how was my night?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
