You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
