i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
