you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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