Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
