this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
