TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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