I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sorry about my life...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And then he peed in my hair
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