oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just high enough for therapy.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize