Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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