he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
