I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Randomize
