Your mouth is God's brothel.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
