we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize