theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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