used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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