some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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