She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
they're like a gay fantastic four
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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