I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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