Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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