dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
