I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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