You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
