I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
