I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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