Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
