Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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