this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
