I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
two words...techno handjob
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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