did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
