He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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