Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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