the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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