At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
