she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
