The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
NoShamevember. You game?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
