Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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