you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
